Konfessjonijiet qabel norqdu (Before We Sleep) is the poem featured in this beautiful anthology, translated by Albert Gatt, edited by Bridget Reuame, and published by the International Human Rights Art Movement.
In this poem, I set out to explore the changes in my body, its frailties and vulnerabilities. Certain changes come unbidden; sometimes they are beyond my grasp. A blemish seems to expand, an ache intensifies and spreads. Wounds I thought had closed reopen, and old memories are reborn. Now, in my late forties, there is more bulk, more awkwardness, more ugliness. A woman's body isn't always beautiful. And that doesn't matter. If I must reveal my body, let it be in its entirety, just as it is, just as I perceive it. Hence, this poem.
During long, sleepless nights, I scrutinise my body, trying to embrace all its transformations and bear a weight that I have never borne before. I don't always face this alone. Should I? On the other side of the bed, there is my husband. He listens to my pain and tries to understand my body, not always successfully. When he can't understand, he usually suggests something apparently trivial. Take a walk by the canal, for example. And yet, it almost always turns out to be more than I could have asked for.
